today should be a day when i feel like imploding. and though i am full of many a thing like rage and sighs and crackers and coffee i still am sitting with a smile on my face. it could be the oatmeal raisin cookie.
i think really, it’s mostly because i’ve got some amazing friends and family. and also cuz i ate meatloaf for dinner and damn if i don’t love meatloaf.
the shitty stuff has totally warped my mind and still, i’ve had the most patience with zoë today that i’ve ever had in my life. i think.
want to scream at the grocery store cuz mommy is not grabbing you the dora fruit snacks off the shelf? it’s ok, just use your inside voice please. you don’t want to listen to me? that’s ok too, cuz sometimes i wouldn’t wanna listen to me either. and it’s okay to feel frustrated about being locked up in a stroller. want meatloaf for dinner? me, too! then we can colour!
today i found out officially that i have mastitis. it’s pretty graphic so skip to the next pg if you don’t wanna know, but basically it happens when a milk duct becomes clogged in a breastfeeding mommy and then an infection forms. the problem with this is that i’ve not breastfed in exactly 4 months tomorrow and that makes it a rarity. also weird is that i was fine two days ago and now have three severely clogged ducts.
i have to try topical antibiotics and if those don’t work, heavy-duty orals until it’s better or it could spread to my bloodstream. the kicker is that if it reoccurs i’ll prolly have to go for surgery to remove the ducts.
sigh.
in other news, z got a potty yesterday and is all up in that shit, trying to sit on it and figure it all out. what’s funny is that she’s too short for it and so has to climb on and then sit. invariably, her feet get wedged in the pee hole and i think it’s funny but will be an issue when i’m actually trying to potty train her. right now, it’s just a cool thing to get used to having around and hey, it’s where elmo goes pee and poops.
really funny was me showing her how to sit on it, to launch herself backwards from her feet. it is apparently HER POTTY and mommy is not allowed to sit on it. EVER. in fact, mommydon’teventouchitokayplease?
she also said cookie today and is a full-fledged kissaholic and oh it’s so damn sweet. she went around this morning kissing her stuffies. “dodah” kiss. “tikky” kiss. “daggah” kiss. “cay” kiss. for the record that was dora, kitty, doggy and cow.
speaking on stupid mommy-isms that no one cares about unless they’re a mommy, i was saying to elizabeth today after we were dog-fart-assaulted, that z giggles are my most favourite sound in the world. i’m thankful that mitzie inspires them.
and i am thinking of getting her a kitty for exmas. or sooner. i miss having a baby furry thing and she is in love with things with fur.
