Entries Tagged 'goalllllls!' ↓

I have something really important to say. A challenge to issue to you, but first, can you just bear with me while I, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”? Thank you.

The holiday madness is in full swing. I’ve got a To Do list longer than Santa’s naughty list, which includes at least eleventy-seven thousand tasks – work-type things, emails to reply, crafts to make, things to wrap, places to clean, furniture to paint and dishes to wash. Also, there’s that one teensy detail of finishing Xmas cards and shopping. Hence the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

So, onto one of the more important things: posting on ye olde blog, right?

I know at least some of you kind-hearted people who could be doing much better things with your time than reading this tripe are single parents. And I know some of you aren’t single parents, but because of jobs and travel, etc, it seems virtually like you are. Or at least one of you has, in the past, received a gift from a spouse that might have come from a convenience store attached to the car wash left something to be desired.

All of you have something in common with me, even though you’re not nearly as insane: you work really really hard and often you come last. Heh. Often. Rewind there and change ‘often’ to ‘always‘. And what do you get for it? Yes, yes, love, devotion, respect, children’s hugs and sloppy kisses. I get that. Being a parent is rewarding. Sure. But what I’m really talking about is Christmas, people.

So, for everyone who has a spouse that frankly can’t find the perfect gift any better than he can find your G spot, for the single parents who are missing that special someone to buy them shiny things as an apology for having that Angelina Jolie sex dream, I ask the following:

What the hell are you going to buy yourself for Christmas?

Cuz, baby, you so deserve it. At least I do.

Which is why I’m taking Raino’s suggestion and for Exmas eve, both Isobel and I will get new PJs. And on Christmas morning, while Isobel opens this one tiny, sad looking little present (before her dad takes her out, so I can transform her room into a room fit for a Punk Princess, which is really the real present), I’ll be opening one, too. And I’ve been trying to think…What should I get me?

Since I can’t wrap up this and put it in my bed for Exmas morning:

I really had to dig deep and hard and long and scratch some nails against my back, while thrashing my hair back and forth and imagining… and I came up with exactly nothing. But never fear. I’ve still got 10 shopping days left.

Now, what about you?

A few things have occurred to me in the past 24 hours:

• Somehow, I’ve accidentally only smoked half of what I normally would at this point in the month.

• If I continue with the budget I’ve set up for myself, which was in fact necessary for the past two weeks since I was the brokeness, I could save up enough by the beginning of July to take someone with me, for free. Not including, like, work-work or advertising revenue. Why the hell didn’t I start doing this sooner?

• I totally quit NaNo. For now. I might come back to it, in like, May. I wonder what I could call it, then?

• Buying the Barbie Christmas Carol DVD was not sticking to the budget, but made Isobel really really happy, so I guess I know why the hell I didn’t start doing this sooner.

• Isobel’s new-found picky eating habit is more than annoying, it makes me really angry and insulted. I don’t feel like cooking anymore, dammit. And she eats virtually nothing now.

• I am so much better off without someone in my life unnecessarily who would question if I was ‘fucking retarded’ in front of my daughter, who would say I wasn’t worth a well-deserved apology. I am moving on.

• Which means, like, really moving on. Shaving my legs, maybe with the intention of dating and stuff. (You do know I’ve only ever been on two dates, right?)

• I have five tutus to make for Xmas pressies, a blanket and about a zillion Xmas photo cards.

• I need to figure out more inexpensive healthy foods that Isobel will eat – crackers, fruit and yogurt aren’t quite enough, I’m thinking.

• I already have a few website design clients lined up. And I haven’t even gotten to the guinea pigs, yet. Whoa. This could be awesome.

• Seriously, if you were at BlogHer, would you pay a buck for a postcard along the lines of the teeshirt I’m getting Isobel? Seriously? Should we get on that?

• Soy milk is not Isobel’s friend. Rice milk is expensive. Maybe I need to look into alternative calcium/protein sources for her.

• I could totally love this, with enough concealer, mascara and blush: