Comments on: On conundrums http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/ ...sometimes, I need a time-out, too. Tue, 08 Jun 2010 03:05:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Brown http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11420 Brown Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:09:37 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11420 I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites. I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.

]]> By: ShredderFeeder http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11419 ShredderFeeder Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:40:16 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11419 it takes more than a month for an alcoholic to unlearn his alcoholism. usually they have to "hit bottom" (the term usually associated with losing everything) before they can even begin to start the process of healing. Your ex hasn't hit bottom. Not even close. I know how much you want the weekend, but my personal opinion is that it isn't time. Moreover you know it too, and if you do this you'll find you'll spend the entire weekend worried about Zoe. Not much of a vacation, huh? it takes more than a month for an alcoholic to unlearn his alcoholism. usually they have to “hit bottom” (the term usually associated with losing everything) before they can even begin to start the process of healing.

Your ex hasn’t hit bottom. Not even close. I know how much you want the weekend, but my personal opinion is that it isn’t time.

Moreover you know it too, and if you do this you’ll find you’ll spend the entire weekend worried about Zoe. Not much of a vacation, huh?

]]> By: quistesdeovario http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11418 quistesdeovario Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:29:11 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11418 You're in a tough spot. You do need time off every once in a while and Zoe needs to spend time with her grandmother. But my first question was will her dad drink and smoke while he's at his mother's house? His mother ought to toss him out if he does. I know mine would have. Good luck. You’re in a tough spot. You do need time off every once in a while and Zoe needs to spend time with her grandmother. But my first question was will her dad drink and smoke while he’s at his mother’s house?
His mother ought to toss him out if he does. I know mine would have.
Good luck.

]]> By: Kaye@canada mortgage insurance http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11416 Kaye@canada mortgage insurance Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:03:40 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11416 Hi, I really understand your situation right now miss. I just want to say that you should give her a lesson. If she cannot stop on wasting her life in drinking and smoking rather than to be a responsible to your child,I would rather give her a choice, to be with your child or to continue her addictions..It is an effective tip from me. Just keep holding on miss.Your child needs you. Thanks for sharing your life. Just pray, ask guidance. Hi, I really understand your situation right now miss. I just want to say that you should give her a lesson. If she cannot stop on wasting her life in drinking and smoking rather than to be a responsible to your child,I would rather give her a choice, to be with your child or to continue her addictions..It is an effective tip from me. Just keep holding on miss.Your child needs you. Thanks for sharing your life. Just pray, ask guidance.

]]> By: Norman Rockwell Art http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11415 Norman Rockwell Art Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:27:49 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11415 You are going to make the right decision for both you and Zoe. Because you have to. And even if things don't work out perfectly, you will still make the right decision. Because you CANNOT control the actions of other people, only your own. Always keep that immutable law in mind. I think LovingDanger has a great idea, enlist Mother of the Changed as an ally. Keep in mind that unless The Ex has changed friends, he has not changed. And if he is on the wagon, and has not changed the people he associates with, that change is at best momentary. Even if he is good right now, do not be lulled. My best advice, if you want it, is to accompany Zoe to Grandma's house, see for yourself the state of Ex's sobriety. Evaluate it. Trust your observations. Remind them both that your main concern is your daughter's well-being. Make a logical decision and do not be swayed either way by anything but reason. And know that you are in my prayers tonight. You WILL do the right thing. You are going to make the right decision for both you and Zoe. Because you have to. And even if things don’t work out perfectly, you will still make the right decision. Because you CANNOT control the actions of other people, only your own. Always keep that immutable law in mind.

I think LovingDanger has a great idea, enlist Mother of the Changed as an ally.

Keep in mind that unless The Ex has changed friends, he has not changed. And if he is on the wagon, and has not changed the people he associates with, that change is at best momentary. Even if he is good right now, do not be lulled.

My best advice, if you want it, is to accompany Zoe to Grandma’s house, see for yourself the state of Ex’s sobriety. Evaluate it. Trust your observations. Remind them both that your main concern is your daughter’s well-being. Make a logical decision and do not be swayed either way by anything but reason.

And know that you are in my prayers tonight. You WILL do the right thing.

]]> By: Coach J http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11414 Coach J Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:58:58 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11414 I don't know you, but you're speaking my language, telling my story, strumming my pain with your fingers (or something like that). Except the negativity has been coming from MY mother... No bueno. I wish you the very best of luck sorting this all out. My heart goes out to you. Really and truly. I don’t know you, but you’re speaking my language, telling my story, strumming my pain with your fingers (or something like that). Except the negativity has been coming from MY mother… No bueno.

I wish you the very best of luck sorting this all out. My heart goes out to you. Really and truly.

]]> By: Barbara Doduk http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11413 Barbara Doduk Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:44:40 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11413 I don't envy you this situation. In my life, I am so hoping that the "father-to-be" of my baby, keeps staying out of my life (and when she is born, stays out of hers), as does his family, just so I don't have to deal with this kind of stressful decision making. Best of luck figuring out what is best for all involved. I don’t envy you this situation.

In my life, I am so hoping that the “father-to-be” of my baby, keeps staying out of my life (and when she is born, stays out of hers), as does his family, just so I don’t have to deal with this kind of stressful decision making.

Best of luck figuring out what is best for all involved.

]]> By: LovingDanger http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11412 LovingDanger Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:19:36 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11412 I wonder if you and her work out the whole HER having visitation if she would be less inclined to lie for her asshat son? Her covering for him could be out of fear of HER losing Zoe? Maybe giving her this opportunity and stating that you really want her to be a part of Zoe's life even her her son isn't might change things? Just a thought I wonder if you and her work out the whole HER having visitation if she would be less inclined to lie for her asshat son? Her covering for him could be out of fear of HER losing Zoe? Maybe giving her this opportunity and stating that you really want her to be a part of Zoe’s life even her her son isn’t might change things? Just a thought

]]> By: Maria http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11411 Maria Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:07:25 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11411 I fucking hate that you're in this position. You deserve a weekend, ZOE deserves it. But I think you're correct that you can't expect her to rat out her own son and I wouldn't trust him either. And that sucks. I fucking hate that you’re in this position.

You deserve a weekend, ZOE deserves it.

But I think you’re correct that you can’t expect her to rat out her own son and I wouldn’t trust him either. And that sucks.

]]> By: Ashlie- Mommycosm http://mommyismoody.com/2009/10/12/on-conundrums/#comment-11410 Ashlie- Mommycosm Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:25:55 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/?p=1993#comment-11410 Definitely trust your gut. Not any other guilt talking to you or a desire for some alone time. Quiet all of that and really listen. You will find the right answer. Definitely trust your gut. Not any other guilt talking to you or a desire for some alone time. Quiet all of that and really listen. You will find the right answer.

]]>