Please note that this post is not directed at all of the people addressing their concerns surrounding the Nestle Family meet-up on Twitter this morning. The large majority of those bringing up their issues with Nestle’s practices and corporate responsibility were analytical, not personally attacking any of the attendees and I’m happy to have seen them representing what Nestle seems to consider a lesser-important population – mothers and children within third-world and under-funded nations. I’m speaking to a small group of women who chose to make their arguments against Nestle a reason to form a personal vendetta, for lack of a better phrase, against the attendees.
Women. What the fuck are you doing?
If ever there was reason I’d feel shame to be called a mommy blogger, today on Twitter defined it.
So, some moms were hosted by Nestle. I’d like to think that a large portion of the attendees went with education and research behind themselves, and some were just damn happy to get a tour and talking to. Whatever the reason they went, a number of our brethren were there, representing our community.
Maybe they were provided propaganda, and maybe as far as they know, they were educated about a company’s aims to give back to the world that has helped them to become successful – for the point of this post, I’m not considering what viewpoint they went or left with.
The point was that a company (regardless of whether you or I or that chick over there in the corner chugging a cab-sav out of the bottle while her three kids run around her in circles asking for goldfish crackers thinks they’re unethical or not) let in a group of people from our community and exposed to them (some part) of their inner-workings. This group, for their own individual reasons, accepted the invitation and had the right to not only enjoy, but to potentially profit (in the form of networking and education) from the experience.
Now, our job as I see it, is to educate. To expand upon that theory, I think that as human beings we have the ability and specific onus to share information with others – not just other moms, or parents, or people within our neighbourhood or shared demographic. With anyone we think should and will listen.
So, some of us, being aware of what we see as (what you could harshly call) Nestle’s crimes against humanity, had the responsibility to share this information, our sources and our opinions – it’s what we, as a collective should be doing: sharing the good and the bad as a means to further enrich and protect our fellow sharers of the planet.
Some of us did that, providing links, stats, posts and concise ideology supporting our disdain for Nestle’s practices with specific concern for their see-no-evil cocoa trading habits – which is linked to child slave labour – and aggressive (and irresponsible) marketing of baby formula – which has ultimately been linked to infant deaths numbering over one million.
Others are the ones causing me shame in the mommy blogger title.
Since when is it appropriate to attack another mother for not having the knowledge, or the confidence to speak out against something? Since when do we, all mutually enabled, but some not aware, or gasp, more trusting than even the least cynical of us, have the right to talk down to someone in a public venue because she has been exposed to information and didn’t immediately, what? Stand up and walk out? Cause damage to a brand name that could incur personal legal issues in the form of a potential libel or slander suit? Announce clearly to an entire room after glancing at her iPhone that she was forever boycotting Nestle’s bullshit and everyone else there should leave with her or be ashamed of themselves?
Today, dear community, I saw claws.
I think some people, feeling understandably enraged at the examples of ethical responsibility that Nestle was throwing out to what they saw as impressionable, influential mommy bloggers, pounced on the moms, not just the company.
Our job is not to tell other people what products they are allowed to support. Our job is to explain why we do or do not support the companies we individually choose to. We are not to shame someone, or attempt to, because they like cheap chocolate that is not certified as fair-trade or slavery-free. It’s not up to us to tell someone if they even should choose formula for their child, period, never mind the brand that they’re allowed to select.
But today, I saw women on Twitter, acting as if they had all the answers and anyone who wasn’t with them was against them.
This was not about sides, mommies. This was not about I said/you said. This was a marketing/education opportunity that 20 hand-selected moms got to attend that a population wasn’t okay with existing, offered by a company that many of us think should face legal (in the least) action.
So, fine. Don’t be okay with it. Explain why you’re not okay with it. Expand upon your reasoning and even go so far as to say, “I boycott Nestle (or Walmart, or Kraft, H & M, Nike, or whatever, there’s about 8 bagillion brands you could be boycotting if you really did some reading) and this is why, and I wouldn’t feel right about attending an event like you are. But that is my opinion and I would never tell you how to live your life because you are my sister in arms against the doldrums and harassment and annoyance and joys of motherhood, not my enemy.”
Then, when the ladies have been escorted out of the event or even during, if you can handle yourself with a modicum of respect for who you are addressing, you can tell them more. You can argue the materials and fact sheets they were provided, the tweets they sent out and the statistics that now flood their brains. You can tell them what the chocolate will do to their ass and their wrinkles, for all I care, but you must do it from a place of goodness and intentional love.
No one will listen to a message that is screamed in their face with rage. No one can open their mind to someone who is acting abusively or condescendingly. I can’t think of one person who would have read 140 characters that basically said “If you don’t agree with me, you’re a murderer, too,” thought it gospel and dismantled the entire Nestle corporation from that very room.
Changes come slowly, both on a corporate and personal level, and none of us can expect someone who feels (on some level) honoured to have been invited to an exclusive meeting to have learned everything there was to know while they were there, while they were being shouted at on Twitter, while they could also have been developing their own opinion about Nestle’s practices.
We, women, moms, are a flexible bunch, and an influential one as well.
Don’t you think that we should have respected ourselves as a community enough to play nice and debate courteously, and maybe, just maybe, given the attendees of the Nestle Family event a moment to breathe in light of (what to some of them was) the completely new information they were being provided?
Ten minutes after they left, that’s when we could have worked hard, as a supportive and educated and empathic population to right the wrongs they may have been told. Not with harsh personal criticisms, but with the same voice that we would extend to any friend.
Please, ladies, put the claws away. There’s no reason to add bulk to the notion that women are drama-mongering, reactive, unstable characters. Think of affirmative action that you can take to educate and support your fellow females and therefore the generations to come.
Stop creating karmatic deficits.
