I have skin that’s akin to your mother-in-law: nothing is ever good enough for it.
It’s never quite clean, or even-toned and it’s so reactive to any change in routine or product. When I inevitably run out of the latest thing that’s keeping me clean, you can hear expletives throughout my neighbourhood – historically, every time I need to buy new “face stuff”, what I was using has been discontinued or suddenly my skin doesn’t like it.
So then, I have to try something new.
Honestly, my sensitive skin is a blessing to my friends since they have been given tons of products that I’ve tried out once or twice with the following results: bumpy, rash-covered cheeks; acne, which I am usually free of; dry, flaky patches; stinging; tightness; and just general unhappiness.
I’ve gone through a lot of bottles of face stuff, inevitably handing it over to someone else without my particular brand of shitty over-sensitivity. This cycle has gone on for nearly two decades, frustrating (and costing me) so much so that recently, I decided to quit looking for something that worked and to start using something I knew would be good enough – my daughter’s soap.
Of course, as soon as I committed to that, I literally tripped over a box in the cosmetics section of my local Shoppers Drug Mart.
Dermaglow’s Sensitive Skin Survival Kit has a wealth of sort-of-kinda promises on the side of the box. Since I have a great track record of believing lies and jumping right into bed with liars a new skincare regimen, I figured, why not?
Yes, my resolutions don’t last long. I’m willpower-less, okay?
This little kit (that the box proclaims an $86 value) contains four products: sample-sizes of Gentle Foaming Cleanser, Intensive Moisture Treatment, Anti-Age Eye Treatment and a full-sized Gentle Face Polisher. Kind-of promises relating to diminishing wrinkles and crow’s feet, a reduction in dark circles, and improved elasticity and firmness romanced me for two whole weeks.
The honeymoon’s over.
I tried to like it. I tried to make it work – I would have considered counselling, even – but you know, when it’s just not there, you can’t salvage it.
The gentle foaming cleanser didn’t suck. It was gentle. Too gentle to take care of the makeup around my nose – I’m a natural redhead, which means I tend to have redness around my nostrils – those get concealer, which has to actually wash off. It didn’t leave any residue, unless you count the mascara that ran down my face in a manner akin to a bad ad-mock up for a Hole album, circa ‘90-something. It didn’t sting and my skin wasn’t left tight or dry-feeling afterwards. But because I could see it not cleaning, I didn’t feel clean.
The intensive moisture treatment was totally intensive. They definitely picked the right word. It absorbed remarkably well, wasn’t greasy and a little went a long way. Sounds like win (and it was), until around day eight, when my chin decided that it was no longer belonging to the dry-skin side of the fence and joined the oily-t-zone camp. And I got zits. That basically causes this product to go into the fail category, since I’m not effortful enough to use it only on my cheeks and use something else in other areas.
The anti-age eye treatment was the one I really wanted to work, cuz damn, do I have dark circles that contrast nicely against the white-as-death skin tone I rock. It did nothing for me. Absolutely zilch. Except, for the past couple of weeks, my eyes have been puffier – but I’ll be fair and mention the extreme lack of sleep I’ve been indulging in, which is a more likely culprit than an eye treatment.
The gentle face polisher. First reaction when I opened it up: Holy ass, this smells terrible. When I massaged it in gentle circles (look, I can follow directions!), I found that my skin wasn’t averse to the texture – it wasn’t too coarse, like most other polishers I’ve tried. Then came time for rinsing. And rinsing. And some more. The residue it left on my face was yuck-worthy, causing water to bead up on my face. So much so, that I ended up using a face cloth to scrape it off, therefore giving my skin an unhealthy pink, just-got-sanded look. But new skin was revealed!
Overall, this high-valued product ended up having no value for me, and one of my best friends will inherit it as I return to the routine that works best: a bar of goat’s milk soap, a soft wash cloth and L’oreal’s Wrinkle De-Crease.
