{What follows is a guest post from VDog. You know she’s a fabulous writer, who doesn’t write nearly enough, right? Well, I asked her a whiles back to guest post and low and behold, I got it. You wanna? Let me know}
There’s a certain someone in my life (okay, it’s my Mother-in-law) who is totally fabulous, but at the same time can, on occasion, be totally deflating. Take lunch today. Titi (my son, aka Little Man) was being, well, two, and in concert with his two-ness, was working a nasty cold. Maminou as she’s called (sounds like mommy-new), throws out the ever so helpful, ‘imagine how hard it is with two!’
Um, thanks. I’m already having a tough time with this motherhood gig and keeping it all together, what with my recurrent depression and general tendency to be short tempered and LOUD when suffering from lack of sleep.
Now, it would be one thing if this was an isolated incident. But OH NO. It’s not. See, her daughter has twins. After having three other kids. The other V (my sister-in-law) has two teenagers and then a four year old and the two year old twins. Her life is CRAZY. I know it is. I would never want it for myself or wish it upon anyone else.
Anytime I am struggling with Titi, Maminou slips in an, ‘imagine if you had twins!’ or ‘just wait until you have two kids!’ or something to that effect. Maminou always tells me we are doing a great job with Titi, and that she completely adores him. So what’s up with this comparison thing?
I’m like, does this woman WANT me to have another kid or WHAT??? Because it really seems like she DOES want another grandchild borne by me. But her comments surely aren’t helping matters.
I deeply WANT another child, but I am also realistic. I’m realistic about my own limitations, physically, mentally and emotionally, and I know that a second child is not something to be decided upon lightly. I want another baby. I do. But I get discouraged and my heart hurts a little bit when I hear statements like those. I guess I should just tell her straight up that those comments bother me, but then I wonder, ‘am I making a big deal out of nothing?’ and I also, well, don’t like confrontation all that much.
*Sigh.*
