*snort* Please make fun of me in the comments, okay?
Introducing LceeL from Zoeyjane on Vimeo.
Zoeyjane has asked me to be her for today. That, as they say, is a good one. Too old, too fat, too ugly. And no, I’m not talking about her. Ah, but you knew that already, didn’t you? Of course you did.
The Princess and the Captain of the Guard
“You know, you don’t really have to protect me. I am a magical Princess, I am. I can take care of myself.”
The young Captain of the Guard bristled at the thought that this little girl would think him incapable of protecting her.
“Your Highness, the King has commanded me to see you safely to the Winter Palace. Your protection is my sworn duty, and I will do my duty, whether you think me capable or not.”
“I never said you weren’t capable, Captain. Only that I didn’t need you to protect me.”
“Young Princess, these woods are full of strange creatures and villianous monsters and you are but a child of 10 years. You need my protection.”
“So say you, Captain of the Guard. But as sure as I am Princess of the Realm, it is I who will protect you, when the time comes.”
“Hah!”, said the Captain of the Guard, and they said no more about it.
And so they rode on through Dangerwood Forest, Captain in the lead, headed for the warmer lowlands and the Winter Palace, until they came to a place where a tree had fallen across the path and their way was blocked.
“Wait here, Princess, while I see if there is a safe way around this obstacle before us.”
Just then, two ragged thieves jumped down from the trees and drew their knives and cried, “Hold you there and part with your wealth, or we shall hurt you dearly!!”
And the Captain of the Guard jumped down, positioned himself in front of the Princess’s horse and drew his mighty sword.
“Away with you, thieving scoundrels, for I am the Captain of the Guard, and you will hurt no one here today.”
With that he whirled his sword above his head and it flashed in the sun and the light from the sword blinded the thieves and made them sore afraid and they ran away.
“You see, my Princess, it is I who protect you. You did not protect me.”
“No, my Captain of the Guard, I did not, as you say. It was not time yet.”
“Hah!”, said the Captain of the Guard, and they said no more about it.
And so they rode on through Dangerwood Forest, Captain in the lead, headed for the warmer lowlands and the Winter Palace, until they came to a stream with a small bridge across, and a large Troll with a huge
hammer in his hand, standing at the foot of the bridge.
“Only one of you may cross”, the Troll said, “the other of you must be my supper.”
And the Captain of the Guard jumped down and positioned himself in front of the Princess’s horse and drew his mighty sword and held out his strong and shiny shield.
“Away with you, nasty Troll, for I am the Captain of the Guard and you’ll eat no flesh here today.”
With that the Troll stepped forward and raised his hammer to strike. The Captain shoved his shield in front of him which caught a ray of the sun and reflected it in the Trolls eyes and turned him instantly to stone.
“You see, my Princess? Again it is I who protect you. You did not protect me.”
“No, my Captain of the Guard, I did not, as you say. But it was not time yet.”
“Hah!”, said the Captain of the Guard, and they said no more about it.
And so they rode on through Dangerwood Forest, Captain in the lead, headed for the warmer lowlands and the Winter Palace, until they came to a clearing in the forest full of children at play.
“I don’t think we should enter here,” said the Princess, “I sense danger in this place.”
“Nonsense,” said the Captain of the Guard, “they are but children at play.”
With that a net fell over the Captain of the Guard and he was soon pulled from his horse and wound all around with rope and soon to be tied up and cooked over the fire which had sprung up in the middle of
the clearing.
“Run, Princess, run!! Save yourself,” cried that Captain of the Guard. “I am bound with rope and I can do nothing to protect you.”
With that the Princess slid down from her horse and picked up a stick and a stone.
The children saw what she had done and laughed, saying “Ha, ha, ha. What are you going to do with a stick and a stone? You can do nothing to save him now.” And they laughed and laughed.
And the Princess held the stick and the stone out in front of her. And her head bowed slightly and her eyes began to glow and with each peal of their laughter, the Princess began to grow.
And she grew and she grew until she was tall and as dark as the trees. Then, in a voice as loud as thunder and as deep as the rumble of a volcano, she said “Sticks and stones will break your bones, and none
can stand before me.”
“If this man you hurt, you will be dirt, and none there will restore ye!”
With that the children were frightened and they ran away, leaving the Captain of the Guard alone on the ground, still bound up in his ropes.
The Princess dropped the tools of her magic and was suddenly the little girl she had always been. She walked over to where the Captain lay, bound up in his ropes as he was, waved her hand and the ropes fell away.
“Come, my Captain of the Guard, we must away. It is not safe here in this place.”
With that, the Captain of the Guard and the Princess got back on their horses and rode away from the clearing.
“You saved me, my Princess,” said the Captain of the Guard.
“Yes, I did, my brave Captain of the Guard. After all, it was time.”
And so they rode, side by side, through the rest of the Dangerwood Forest, to the warmer lowlands, and the Winter Palace.
And they both lived happily, ever after.
***
For Zoe Isobel.
I hope it isn’t too scary for a little girl. I hope it isn’t too scary for the big girl, either.
