On Realizations

A few things have occurred to me in the past 24 hours:

  • Somehow, I’ve accidentally only smoked half of what I normally would at this point in the month.
  • If I continue with the budget I’ve set up for myself, which was in fact necessary for the past two weeks since I was the brokeness, I could save up enough by the beginning of July to take someone with me, for free. Not including, like, work-work or advertising revenue. Why the hell didn’t I start doing this sooner?
  • I totally quit NaNo. For now. I might come back to it, in like, May. I wonder what I could call it, then?
  • Buying the Barbie Christmas Carol DVD was not sticking to the budget, but made Isobel really really happy, so I guess I know why the hell I didn’t start doing this sooner.
  • Isobel’s new-found picky eating habit is more than annoying, it makes me really angry and insulted. I don’t feel like cooking anymore, dammit. And she eats virtually nothing now.
  • I am so much better off without someone in my life unnecessarily who would question if I was ‘fucking retarded’ in front of my daughter, who would say I wasn’t worth a well-deserved apology. I am moving on.
  • Which means, like, really moving on. Shaving my legs, maybe with the intention of dating and stuff. (You do know I’ve only ever been on two dates, right?)
  • I have five tutus to make for Xmas pressies, a blanket and about a zillion Xmas photo cards.
  • I need to figure out more inexpensive healthy foods that Isobel will eat – crackers, fruit and yogurt aren’t quite enough, I’m thinking.
  • I already have a few website design clients lined up. And I haven’t even gotten to the guinea pigs, yet. Whoa. This could be awesome.
  • Soy milk is not Isobel’s friend. Rice milk is expensive. Maybe I need to look into alternative calcium/protein sources for her.
  • I could totally love this, with enough concealer, mascara and blush:
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  • I don't get it, whats the concealer and why? ;)

    <abbr>Visit Hockeyman to read...Brain Zaps and Bath</abbr>
  • Kim
    I saw your new pictures on Flickr..and I love the new color.. love it.. and kick the asstard that said that to you ..and said it in front of baby girl.. is just a dick. sorry. and to quote the fab Maria.. .. i'm just saying..

    <abbr>Visit Kim to read...Weekly Winners</abbr>
  • Angie: A postcard or a website? :P
  • OH: She knows it's about 'I hate Christmas,' then 'ooooh the spirits!' then 'aw, Barbie's sad for Christmas...' to 'Yeah, happy Christmas!' :P

    And don't worry, I won't not tell the family about leaving Isobel with friends. It's actually already been suggested, though at that end of a fight, and more of a, "if you don't get your shit together then..." Sigh. Tough place, like you said.
  • Jeremy: Thanks for the laid-back, cool feedback. I've seriously gotta try that, the finding someone fun and 'the rest will come' part.
  • Indigo: Thanks!
  • Lou: I'm going to print that out and it on my front door, bathroom mirror and fridge. Yup. I need reminders, constantly. No, seriously, though, I know to aim at least away from a future of AA refusal.
  • You make it, I'll buy it.
  • Did she like the DVD? Lola is having a hard time understanding it.

    I read your post yesterday and in my head I commented. LOL. You are in a tough place. You can't just skip town w/o notifying the fam and leave her with your friend. That wouldn't be so classy, eh?

    <abbr>Visit OHmommy to read...Missed Connections</abbr>
  • Dates are good. Go on dates.

    Coral and dated lots... and lots and lots... and then a baby some how ot made. but we still like to go out together sometimes. it is fun and we laugh a lot. so find someone fun... then the rest will come.
  • Good for you for slowing down on the cig intake. And the a**hole who says that about you needs to be beaten. Hard.

    And the new do looks dramatic. Nice.

    <abbr>Visit Mrs. Kitty to read...A new addition to the club</abbr>
  • You totally rock the hair! Glad your no longer with someone who would be so disrespectful, and cruel in front of your daughter. You do deserve so much more than that out of life. (Hugs)Indigo

    <abbr>Visit Indigo to read...Let Them Eat Cake....</abbr>
  • liza
    Good Luck on your savings plan! A penny earned is a penny saved??
    Well more like lots of dollars!
  • Anyone who would be stupid enough to bad mouth you - in front of Isobel or not - doesn't deserve you anyway. He was obviously insecure and threatened by your innate wit and intelligence. You, on the other hand, need to raise your sights, a bit, if you're going to start dating. Tweakers won't do it. Idiots and imbeciles are not for you. You are a gorgeous young woman with a mind to match. You should be looking at matching up with the very best.

    <abbr>Visit lceel to read...Last Minute Shiz</abbr>
  • You are fierce. Whoever would be stupid enough to call you retarded?

    <abbr>Visit Erin to read...AN ALMOST JOURNEY</abbr>
  • The hair is awesome, very chic! Good luck on the budget, I can't seem to stay on one longer than a week. If I do, maybe I can take a trip in July too.

    <abbr>Visit Tara R. to read...‘Junk Drawer’ Sunday</abbr>
  • SAM: Thank you, dollface!
  • ExMi: She seems to be going through problems with textures, food touching, and how it's presented - and we don't eat bread (well, not anything with wheat gluten in it, that is) - but she will do gluten free bagels with PB. It's just that her eating the same thing, all of the time seems so wrong to me - variety's so important!
  • Janet: Okay, I won't. I have a feeling that we could talk for hours about it.
  • RLM: I forgot to say, you, too.
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