So, you really must know exactly how much I want to go to BlogHer. I need a vacation, you know? I can’t think of a better one than with all of you, doing body shots way into the night learning more about our community, how we can make it better and safer, more supportive and even economically sound. I need a vacation, period. So, imagine how shiteous it might be when one wakes up on a Monday morning to find that the location has been selected and it’s not Portland (easy, quick, cheap flight), and it’s not on the weekend of the 18th.
No, it’s on the weekend of the 25th – Isobel’s third birthday – and it’s in Chicago (half way across my country and down a bit). And to make it even more better, she’s got this dad who has, by his own admission, not gone an entire 24 period without becoming intoxicated by something. In at least 3 years, now. I’m so screwed. And not the good way.
Okay, to make it a little simpler, let’s break it down to conflicts: I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with someone who will likely be under the influence, it’s her damn birthday I’d be missing and holy-mother-of-god that’s a lot of money to spend on one weekend. That’s a month’s worth of money to spend on one weekend.
The birthday part, I could concede fairly easily with a) he’s missed the actual day twice, so I can once, b) she would only know I missed it and that it mattered if someone told her, c) I could, in theory, bring her back a teeshirt that said something like, “My mom ditched me on my birthday for BlogHer and all I got was this fucking shirt and a lifetime of therapy.” Or another, equally cool, present. Like candy.
A friend and her family, a mom that we spend nearly everyday with has offered to watch Isobel for the weekend. I didn’t have to ask, I didn’t implicate a need yet, even, she just said, “Well, Isobel is more than welcome to stay with us while you’re in Chicago. It won’t be a problem, at all.” Of course, the likelihood of me taking her up on that will likely be a problem for the rest of Isobel’s family – as if I don’t trust them to watch her. Which I kind of really don’t. Actually, I kind of don’t trust that intoxication won’t take place and that if it does, it won’t be hidden from me – optimism by some parties, aside. Also, his reaction, “I got your email. About July. Yeah, I guess I can take her,” was pretty awesome. Moving on – point being, there is a (dare I say it? better) back up plan in place.
Now the other issue, money.
Research sucks, I’ll say that right off the bat. Here’s how I know:
Flight: $863 (even with a layover, but having to leave during the day on Friday and come home on Sunday, meaning I’d arrive in Chicago around primetime hours).
Hotel: $199/night, divided by number of roomates, times by number of days.
Conference Fees: $300 for the whole she-bang(s) (cheaper for less, but I won’t be able to decide until after the schedule is posted).
Transportation: $100, at least.
Food, coffee and drinks: $200, that could be generous or underestimating, who knows?
Best present in the world for Isobel, to clear up remnant Mommy Guilt: $100+
Total: Fuck me sideways.
So, looks like I’m going to have to temporarily start a one-woman brothel. Because that’s the only way that I can think of to save up the potential, what, $1800 I’ll need for one weekend. That’s not even taking into account miscellanei like needing luggage, or another memory card for my camera, some wicked-hot jeans, a haircut, calling card, hookers and blow, travel sized everything, business cards, etc etc etc.
I’m thinking I’m going to be eating a lot of ramen. And buying it all at Safeway to get the Airmiles. And begging on my knees to be a speaker, so I save a lot of fees and hotel expenses. Oy. Most expensive weekend ever.
It’s going to be such a blast. I can’t wait to hug you all.
