Tonight, I shut a door. Twenty minutes ago, in fact.
Tonight, I heard confirmations of what I thought was being pondered. Plans that could never be, because the what ifs were too great.
Tonight, I heard, “will always” but not “want to forever.” I heard “I can’t” without “but I want to, anyway.”
And tonight, I walk away from a friendship, because without the more, I truly can’t breathe.
Maybe tomorrow, I’ll start to breathe again, free of the weight of this grief. But for tonight, I’ll just cry a little more. Tonight, I’ve soothed his concern about hurting me, with the words, “it’s okay that I’m upset.”
And with this belief, then I’ll let my soul remain open.
For once.
