Comments on: On the Gray Area http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/ ...sometimes, I need a time-out, too. Mon, 17 May 2010 01:42:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Red Lotus Mama http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3614 Red Lotus Mama Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:26:20 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3614 French fries is ok (their special treat together) but too much sugar is not. My father-in-law said he used to give his kids ice cream before dropping them off with their mother because he knew their behavior afterward ... just evil! I read somewhere that is ok that he doesn't parent as structured as you do. As long as Isobel is in a safe environment, they are not running around wild and out of control, that she comes home happy and feeling loved. She is with you the majority of the time so she will adhere to your guidance. Don't worry ... she is a great kid, you are a great mother and he is being a loving father in the one way he knows how. French fries is ok (their special treat together) but too much sugar is not. My father-in-law said he used to give his kids ice cream before dropping them off with their mother because he knew their behavior afterward … just evil!

I read somewhere that is ok that he doesn’t parent as structured as you do. As long as Isobel is in a safe environment, they are not running around wild and out of control, that she comes home happy and feeling loved. She is with you the majority of the time so she will adhere to your guidance. Don’t worry … she is a great kid, you are a great mother and he is being a loving father in the one way he knows how.

]]> By: conversemomma http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3594 conversemomma Tue, 30 Sep 2008 04:37:18 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3594 Speaking from the perspective of a total control freak, good luck with that, darling. Visit conversemomma to read...<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/OrdinaryArt/~3/406789497/there-is-no-poetry-here.html" rel="nofollow">There Is No Poetry Here</a> Speaking from the perspective of a total control freak, good luck with that, darling.

Visit conversemomma to read…There Is No Poetry Here

]]> By: Momisodes http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3593 Momisodes Tue, 30 Sep 2008 04:01:24 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3593 That would drive me nuts. Dealing with the aftermath must be incredibly frustrating. But I have faith in you and smart Isobel. Visit Momisodes to read...<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Momisodes/~3/406269820/" rel="nofollow">Don’t Ask.</a> That would drive me nuts. Dealing with the aftermath must be incredibly frustrating. But I have faith in you and smart Isobel.

Visit Momisodes to read…Don’t Ask.

]]> By: angel http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3590 angel Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:49:22 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3590 oy... raising damien alone has never been easy- but when i read something like this it reminds me how much easier it was for me, not to have to contend with his father on every other weekend or so. strongs girl. Visit angel to read...<a href="http://angelathome.blogspot.com/2008/09/life-interferes-for-bit.html" rel="nofollow">Life Interferes... For A Bit...</a> oy… raising damien alone has never been easy- but when i read something like this it reminds me how much easier it was for me, not to have to contend with his father on every other weekend or so.
strongs girl.

Visit angel to read…Life Interferes… For A Bit…

]]> By: Tara R. http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3588 Tara R. Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:53:06 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3588 It really is all about consistancy. If he can't get with the program, he will be sabotaging everything, every rule, every bit of structure you're trying to establish. And, you get all the backlash. Not fair to you, but very disruptive to Isobel. (Love this new look!) Visit Tara R. to read...<a href="http://ifmomsaysok.wordpress.com/2008/09/28/rsvp-for-ts-party/" rel="nofollow">RSVP for T’s party</a> It really is all about consistancy. If he can’t get with the program, he will be sabotaging everything, every rule, every bit of structure you’re trying to establish. And, you get all the backlash. Not fair to you, but very disruptive to Isobel.

(Love this new look!)

Visit Tara R. to read…RSVP for T’s party

]]> By: liza http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3585 liza Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:53:38 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3585 Vancityrockgirl almost says it all...and Mrs. Kitty completes it with btw-you're doing great. Seriously! Vancityrockgirl almost says it all…and Mrs. Kitty completes it with btw-you’re doing great. Seriously!

]]> By: Mrs. Kitty http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3584 Mrs. Kitty Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:49:35 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3584 Oh man, this would definitely take its toll on me. If what I am doing is working and he is determined to ruin it, it would piss me off something fierce. But the blessing in disguise is that Isobel is her very own person. It's going to be that stubborness that keeps her grounded and in control of herself. She's young now, but it will happen. Btw--your doing great. Seriously. Visit Mrs. Kitty to read...<a href="http://kittyconcerto.com/2008/09/28/i-know-way-too-much-about-my-neighbors/" rel="nofollow">I know way too much about my neighbors</a> Oh man, this would definitely take its toll on me. If what I am doing is working and he is determined to ruin it, it would piss me off something fierce.

But the blessing in disguise is that Isobel is her very own person. It’s going to be that stubborness that keeps her grounded and in control of herself. She’s young now, but it will happen.

Btw–your doing great. Seriously.

Visit Mrs. Kitty to read…I know way too much about my neighbors

]]> By: the planet of janet http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3582 the planet of janet Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:44:07 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3582 take it from a mom who has been divorced from two (yes...TWO) non-rule-following, you-really-wanna-kick-em-in-the-ass-but-you-can't dads. eventually your daughter will figure out what goes at dad's house vs. what goes at mom's. she's a little young for it now, but it will happen. there are things that my boys did with (and to) their dad that they would NEVER have pulled on me. she's a smart cookie. she'll get it. it's only a question of whether you kill your ex first or let him live long enough for her to figure it out. ;-) Visit the planet of janet to read...<a href="http://www.fromtheplanetofjanet.com/2008/09/fun-monday-show-me-your-closet-edition.html" rel="nofollow">Fun Monday: the show me your closet edition</a> take it from a mom who has been divorced from two (yes…TWO) non-rule-following, you-really-wanna-kick-em-in-the-ass-but-you-can’t dads.

eventually your daughter will figure out what goes at dad’s house vs. what goes at mom’s. she’s a little young for it now, but it will happen.

there are things that my boys did with (and to) their dad that they would NEVER have pulled on me.

she’s a smart cookie. she’ll get it. it’s only a question of whether you kill your ex first or let him live long enough for her to figure it out. ;-)

Visit the planet of janet to read…Fun Monday: the show me your closet edition

]]> By: vancityrockgirl http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3581 vancityrockgirl Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:59:50 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3581 it's frustrating to be undermined like that. especially since you are the primary care giver, he should be obeying the rules you have set. but he's not going to change, and will likely always do these things, just to spite you on some level. also, because he only sees her once a week, he is probably "buying her love" with treats on some level... so he's not likely to stop that either any time soon. but the little one will figure it all out on her own... she'll be fine. and at the end of that day, all you have control over is your time with her... so trying to control his time with her is futile and will only make you crazy. so try to let it go. as impossible as that might feel... ps. love the new layout. much more open feeling than the last one. Visit vancityrockgirl to read...<a href="http://vancityrockgirl.com/2008/09/28/sausage-bake.aspx?ref=rss" rel="nofollow">sausage bake</a> it’s frustrating to be undermined like that.
especially since you are the primary care giver, he should be obeying the rules you have set.
but he’s not going to change, and will likely always do these things, just to spite you on some level.
also, because he only sees her once a week, he is probably “buying her love” with treats on some level… so he’s not likely to stop that either any time soon.
but the little one will figure it all out on her own… she’ll be fine.
and at the end of that day, all you have control over is your time with her… so trying to control his time with her is futile and will only make you crazy. so try to let it go. as impossible as that might feel…

ps. love the new layout. much more open feeling than the last one.

Visit vancityrockgirl to read…sausage bake

]]> By: MomBabe http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3580 MomBabe Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:25:49 +0000 http://mommyismoody.com/2008/09/28/on-the-gray-area/#comment-3580 Hon, I just don't know what to tell you. I have no advice. Just hugs. {{hugs!}} Visit MomBabe to read...<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/thebinghamdiaries/EBnH/~3/405158738/its-coming.html" rel="nofollow">It's Coming...</a> Hon, I just don’t know what to tell you. I have no advice. Just hugs. {{hugs!}}

Visit MomBabe to read…It’s Coming…

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