Before Isobel came along, way back in the olden days of lack of brain goo, I was kinda smart. Like, High Genius styles.
I was part of the first gifted program in my school – where the kids soon to become social deviants and web geeks got an alternative ride for a few hours a week. This placement was based on teacher recommendation for IQ testing; I ranked well enough to be considered Exceptionally Gifted.
I remember sitting there for the test and not knowing how to do long division – and I couldn’t ask the person who was there (to make sure I didn’t cheat), so I figured it out. Seriously. When I was maybe seven, I taught myself long division.
Being good with numbers runs in the family – and it was the first thing that really showed, besides my spiritedness, about me. I was calculating change due at the grocery store when I was five, helping my half-sister’s mom with her high school math at nine (ya, we won’t go further into the age difference, okay? Thanks.) and hell, I got in shit for nearly every arithmetic test I took – I didn’t show my work.
But I didn’t need to. Cuz I looked at the question and I just saw the answer it seemed.
Back in my early 20s, I became entranced with sudoku. The patterns of numbers leaping out at me, the logic required. It was better than… Well, it was a good thing to obsess about – finishing every puzzle in a dollar-store book. Finding interactive puzzles online, with timers!
I’ve since obliterated several thousand brain cells, I’ve been sleep deprived for most of a decade and worst of all – I haven’t taken much essential fatty acids or fish oils. Plus I had a baby and got knocked up like a million times. I’m doomed.
And I could see it coming when I was pregnant with her and my daily train ride into work was hampered by my drastically failing sudoku-ing ability. Some days, I wouldn’t even finish the puzzle from the daily paper – the easiest puzzle, ever…I grew depressed and despondent about it.
Sudoku and I broke up. And only recently have I come to realize just what I’ve been missing – absence did, indeed, make my heart grow fonder.
Now, we’re back on, sudoku and I. We’re not as hot and heavy as we once were – we’re not doing it everywhere and anytime – but all of the petting is taking place in my bed, before I fall asleep for the night.
So, dears. A challenge, because I know there’s professors and teachers and math geeks and web geeks out there – that’s not to knock any high geniuses who aren’t in those professions or are feeling as if I just took a stab at the SAHM title…(read the next bit for some ass kissing to make up for it.)
I know you’re all mostly smarter than me, can focus on more than one thing at
.
okay, so I can’t even focus on one thing, sometimes. Do the below puzzle. Tell me how long it took you – minutes AND seconds, people – in the comments. Most masterful at pwning me gets something shiny. I’ll announce the winner – and my time – on Monday evening.
