Me, as a friend.
I will tell you that you are beautiful (because I see it inside and out); that you deserve the best (because you do); what I love about you as a mother (and what inspires me); how strong I think you are; that you amaze me, sometimes; that I would help you with anything, at anytime, in any way that I can.
I will tell you if yellow is not your colour, if you need a size bigger and that your zipper is undone at the same time that spinach is in your teeth.
I will give you advice (usually whether you asked for it or not), and it will come from a logical and loyal place. I just want you to be happy, and if that means that you need to move far far away from me, go back to school and quit a shitty job, quit drinking or not have another baby, I will tell you that I think so.
I will never tell you to leave your husband, but I will tell you what is wrong in your relationship and gauge how you feel about it, too – and I will tell you that it seems like you think you want to stay or go. I will never call your ex an asshole, but I will tell you that I think he’s acting unjustly and try to figure out why – and give you suggestions for how to handle it.
I will lend you my makeup, bra, shoes and give you first dibs on anything I’m not attached to. I will buy you coffee because you deserve to be treated and it’s my pleasure. I will bake, and ziploc up extras for you. I will see something in a store that makes me think of you or how happy you might be to have it, and if my budget will allow it, I will buy it. I will send you emails, cards, text messages just to say, “Hi, I miss you.”
I will be a shoulder if you need it, a bed to crash at, a joke when the day’s been the shittiest yet.
Because I love you, as a friend.
I’m breaking up with you, because you have…
Told everyone my business, regardless of the personal degree of it. Accused me of trying to fuck your boyfriend, on my birthday, when I was nursing day three of a four day hangover, in a common area of our building, with your child watching.
Started drinking all the time, both before and during work. It’s rumoured in our neighbourhood that you’re stealing cash from work. You freaked out at one of our friends for something that she never did. You told me all about it, proud, and then tried to grill me for details.
You said that you needed to avoid me to that same friend because I wasn’t there for you and was untrustworthy. Then two hours later, you approached me for a 15 minute conversation about how you weren’t going to chase after her for her friendship – that you would start hanging out with new people. You lied about who you’re hanging out with, and when I busted you on it because one of the women was out of town, you lied about that.
You’ve talked shit about me to JDawg (who doesn’t even like you or want to talk to you at all), to one of my best friends (who was drunk and wanted to kick your ass), to people in our neighbourhood (who told me, then told me to drop it, since that’s just who you are). You’ve told lies about my very own friends, about how they wanted to hang out with you or have playdates. You’ve interrupted conversations I was having with friends you didn’t know and then later told me that you thought my friend didn’t like you since she was kind of bitchy.
My friends don’t like you. My ex doesn’t like you. My in-laws didn’t like you. That’s a lot of people to not like you, when they’re apparently the ones with problems.
You’ve lied about countless things, told an infinity number of other people’s secrets, apparently cheated on your boyfriend multiple times (and bragged about it). You have no fucking integrity. You’ve claimed to love people, including me and our friend and our kids, but you’re looking for us to love you. It’s not intrinsic, it’s for reciprocation.
Then, you don’t show up to two out of two of my kid’s birthday parties. And you say the week before her birthday, to her, that you have a present. And she’s yet to see it. You watched her for a few hours while I was in the hospital and apparently freaked out that she was uncontrollable and wouldn’t sleep.
Worst of all, you’re sometimes emotionally abusive (and in my opinion, physically) towards your son. He’s just a little boy and all he wants is your attention. He really just started talking, which is pretty sad for someone over three, and there’s a partial explanation in the fact that you’re often yelling at him and commanding him to do things, not talking to and with him.
So, we’re done. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t turn my head to the side and go, “oh well, that’s just who you are,” and notice sadly how few other people want to talk to me or our other friend when we’re around you. I might be an angry person inside, but most people don’t know that about me – I don’t give it off unintentionally. You breath anger, resentment, spite and apathy.
You, to be honest, kind of make me sick.
