Shopping

I’m supposed to, according to Boss, list off up to 100 things that I like, am interested in or would otherwise give my sender an idea of what to buy at the loonie store.

I don’t think I’m going to get anywhere near 100, but let’s see if I can make it to 69. But hey, if you’re thinking of going to Ikea, Santa, wanna pick me us some of this? (Yes, I did just whore out my new subdomain, Panache. Read it, love it, subscribe to it.)

Anyways, onward. What do I love?

1. Burt’s Bees: Pomegranate Lip Balm (Isobel loves to smear it everywhere and I never get to actually use it), anything of the Baby Bees collection and the Milk n’ Honey lotion.
2. Ahava skin care line: pretty much anything, keeping in mind that I have sensitive, dry skin.
3. MAC eyeshadows in non-usual colours. To give you an idea of what I mean? I have this, this and this and this.
4. MAC lip glass in clear.
5. Flowers: anything big and bright. I especially love purple, blue and hot pink daisies. And have not gotten flowers more than once in the past 8 years. Just sayin’.
6. Psychology.
7. Sexual Ecology.
8. Gigantic, two-cups-of-tea-sized mugs.
9. English Breakfast tea.
10. White mochas.
11. Books and movies.
12. Clothes, but good luck with that one. I’m a 0 or smaller, an XS unless it’s a boob-enhancing shirt and between a 32 and 34D. Yes, I did just tell you my bra size.
13. Pajama pants and sleeping boxers.
14. Picture frames for Isobel photos and artwork.
15. This artist.
16. Cigarettes.
17. Starbucks.
18. Dora, the Explorer (seriously, how else would I Plurk during wakey wakey hours?).
19. Notebooks. Like for writing lists, and novel beginnings and not endings, in.
20. A stability ball. Cuz mama’s gotta work on her core muscles.
21. A freaking lightweight stroller that doesn’t cost a million dollars and has handles at an appropriate height for someone over 5′4″.
22. Alternatively, the same thing as above, but for jogging.
23. Additionally, an Ergo child carrier. (Cuz if I don’t have $100 to spend on one, like you do? And do you even really know me? Why are you reading this list and considering buying me something from it?)
24. I guess I’d prolly need some running shoes to go with the jogging stroller. (Yeah, let’s skip the idea of me running altogether. Too much work and money.)
25. SIGG water bottles, in big and little girl sizes.
26. Sex and the City on DVD. I have none, I need all.
27. The L Word on DVD. Need lesbians.
28. Really cutesy stationary.
29. A yoga mat.
30. A laptop.
31. My student loans paid off.
32. A vacation.
33. To go to BlogHer ‘09.
34. To get to speak at BlogHer ‘09.
35. A massage.
36. Highlights, even though I have tons, naturally.
37. A new tattoo. Or three.
38. My labret repierced.
39. Domain, design and creation of my online portfolio, since I’m dragging my ass so much on it.
40. A new design for this blog.
41. A sewing machine.
42. A leather bench, with internal storage.
43. Power bars: Pria in triple chocolate.
44. Lundberg organic tamari with seaweed rice cakes.
45. Strawberry pie with whipped cream.
46. Free dental work.
47. Sleep. At least eight hours. Consecutively.
48. A new cordless phone.
49. Shelves for my wall, instead of a bookcase.
50. A TV armoire.
51. Business cards for both blogging and writing purposes.
52. Someone else to paint my apartment, pick up the supplies and clean up for me.
53. A car for just one day, when I have the money to buy everything for our new place and need to go out and shop.
54. Fettuccine alfredo.
55. Smirnoff Ice Ultra. Or just plain Polar Ice vodka.
56. A very narrow, tall, dark wooded dresser. Kind of like what used to be called lingerie chests.
57. A beautiful teapot. Something Van Gogh-ish.
58. An ass.
59. A countertop dishwasher.
60. A canner. You know, for canning stuff.
61. A countertop grill. For grilling stuff. Especially steaks, yo.
62. A step ladder that Isobel would be uninterested in jumping off of while yelling, “I Fwy, Mama! Weeee!”
63. A new filing cabinet that doesn’t stand out all industrial-like, like my current black metal eye-sore.
64. An eyebrow wax that doesn’t suck balls and make me look as if in a constant state of surprise.
65. A maid. Okay no. Oh, what the hell, yes. But just for the big, fun stuff like walls, windows and the bathroom.
66. One of those cool alarm clocks that speaks a message to you at wake up time. Mine would totally say, “Get out of bed right now, fat ass, if you want to smoke.”
67. A photobook of Isobel’s first two years. Not an album, I could do that myself. A printed book of pictures, anecdotes and firsts. A cool one, dammit. Not all girly and pink flowery styles.
68. A weekend, kid-free and worry-free with my favourite bloggers. Somewhere peaceful with drinking and sunning and cooking. Lakeish, maybe. But must have internet access.
69. Jason Mraz.

How fitting. #69, that is. Yes, I was really grasping – this literally took me about two hours. I hope you’re happy, Boss!