No, really. I am moody. (But she started it)
Today marked the 13th day in the last two weeks that Isobel hasn’t napped. I’m still trying for them most days – I’ll put her in her crib for an hour and a half or two, til she protests to come out. She doesn’t sleep but she does have relatively quiet time, surrounded by books, stuffies and Dora action figures.
This is not enough for her. This is not enough to stop the devil’s spawn from spewing from her aura at around 5pm. Which means two things: I generally start craving a drink at 5:05 and I have raised my voice more times in the past two weeks than I ever thought I would.
And for that? I feel like a total bitch. Because it’s like I’m not keeping my shit together and I’m being cranky, not the other way around. It’s supposed to be my goal to teach her how to express herself in the most freeing (yet not annoying or violent) way possible and here I am at 6pm, eying the clock and repeating questions at her for the sixth time in that tone of voice.
The one I used on her father, when he would ignore something I asked when we were fighting.
Tonight, I took the giant leap of putting her to bed at 6:50. She was whiney, sure. She was moody, fine. Completely irrational, not listening to anything and smacking me with books? Not going to happen. It was partially intuition that she needed to sleep, but it was also partly as a response to her FingTFO for the past two hours.
Really, I have been thinking of trying harder. Of being more interactive and creative and gentle. Planning and organizing better, and reinstalling her routine. But I won’t have the tools, time or emotional ability to do more for the next two weeks. I just can’t. I’m operating on fumes here.
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Trying harder does not mean that days like today won’t happen. It just means that when you look back at the big picture, you’ll feel good about it. And trying harder doesn’t mean it’s going to happen overnight. Trust me – it’s not happening here yet!
And, we totally do “afternoon quiet time” at our house with the Princess. It doesn’t prevent the suppertime breakdowns, it just dampens them a little. But, I’ll take what I can get.
Thanks for the linky love, by the way!
Latte Mommy’s last blog post..Is it a Defect on the Y-chromosome?
Cut yourself some slack, I try to.
I think every parent has these days, weeks, months, but not every parent worries about it. I think worrying about it shows that you care. At least that’s what they tell me
Says the mother who’s been a royal bitch to her son all week.
*feels like FTFO because she’s tired and stressed too*
Sarah’s last blog post..I has a past!
I truly believe that child is some kind of demonic robot!
Miss’s last blog post..The Evolution of Love
i could use a nap. naps are very beneficial for mommies!
the planet of janet’s last blog post..A decade … and a million years ago, part 3
oooer…
that brings back so many memories of the things i did and wished i did and wished i hadn’t done…
angel’s last blog post..A Celebrity Tag
Seriously, cut yourself some slack… every mom has gone through this, or will. What I wouldn’t have given for some duct tape, cotton balls, and a stiff drink on some days sans naps. Could you take naps together, would she let you lie down with her? There were days when that was the only way I could get my young’en to be still, and I got a bonus snooze.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Friday Blessings ~ 2.5
You are doing a great job! Seriously. This shit is hard a lot of the time and you’ve got a lot going on!
My three year old naps at school. Easily and happily. At home you would think I asked him to sit in the electric chair with needles sticking him when I try and put him in for a nap. He turns into Satan’s playmate around 6:15 and that’s when I go nuts.
I definitely feel your pain. I know I should be the calm one and rational one but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.
You’re doing great!
Alison’s last blog post..The Me of We
Oh man…. that’s rough. No nap=cranky parent. For ANY parent. Your completely normal. Is there anybody nearby that you can hand her over to for a couple of hours a day so she has something else to think about and you get some peace???
Mrs. Kitty’s last blog post..A little place called Denial
I wish I could babysit for you so that you can catch up on some sleep. I get really really depressed when I have lack of sleep. It really effects everything. I have no answers on how to get her to sleep, or what the right answers are.. but I am praying that this is just a phase and sooner rather than later you will find some sleep…
Kim’s last blog post..BlogHer – Part One