In my first blog, I really just ranted a lot – especially during the first year of Isobel’s life. Tonight, it’s one of those nights. I’m going to channel Rilah now, so forgive me but there will be cursage and boring ‘my day was…’ isms.
On the top of my list of Things that Suck July-styles:
- The ad. The dude. Didn’t email like he said he would. Didn’t call. I’m guessing I’m not getting it.
- Prior to our mediation appointment this afternoon, I took Isobel for a stroll around the ‘hood, looking for more ‘for rent’ signs. Found one. Called it. Landlord said he’d call me back with a time for tomorrow, prolly around 4 or 5 pm. No call. And it was CHEAP.
- I arranged last minute babysitting so that I could go to the mediation un-child-fettered. Was at the friend’s house getting Isobel settled when JDawg called to inform me that I was late. The card they’d written the time on said 3:30, but they booked it for 3.
- Also found out that their new receptionist didn’t know their rules, so she booked our appointment, but we weren’t allowed to all meet together, for the first meeting.
- So he got my appointment, and I had to leave Isobel at the babysitters for an extra hour. I asked him to wait, so we could discuss things, but he wanted to eat and then have his normal visit with her. Fine.
- His appointment? All legal stuff, nothing personal; he walked out saying he needed more legal advice before he could move forward with the agreement. Again.
- My appointment? All personal, almost all stuff I already knew. Still took over an hour.
- But then we got home (I had to power walk from Downtown cuz the bus was full and it took me 17 minutes to go almost 2 miles. Yay me!?) from the babysitters and JDawg wanted to talk. Of course.
- And the only thing we could agree on (but we didn’t argue, so good for us) was that Isobel’s visits with him need to change in frequency and time. After explaining how I wanted it to be and pointing out that he could pick how early and go right up to dinnertime on both days of the weekend, and how she’d sleep better and he’d get her before she got all tired and cranky, etc. He sort of kind of agreed to change his visits to only the weekends.
- Why did he bring it up, initially? He feels like all of the visits and his working and the commute to my apartment isn’t giving him enough time to himself. Really? So, um, you want to be joint custodial parents but in the last three visits, you’ve been late twice cuz of laundry and being tired, and you’ve said that you want less visitation time because you’re lacking alone time? What kind of parenting is that shit?
- So, anyways, he took Isobel out for a half hour, after all the talking was done. And then he told me about how he was cool, and his feelings about me had changed cuz of all of this court stuff. And the initmation was that he no longer had any at all. And I’m sorry, but that kind of fucking hurt.
- And it was my fault cuz I’d done the court shit. And it’s the first time in a long time that I’ve been really aware of being sad about our relationship – or apparent lack thereof.
- And then Isobel learned how to wash her hands with soap at the sink, like a big girl. And became obsessed with it.
- Did I mention that tomorrow we’re cutting off naptime and moving bedtime to an hour earlier?
- Have I told you exactly how little she’s eating nowadays? She’s not much of a picky eater, she’s just not eating. Today, she had half of an almond butter and honey sandwich, an applesauce snack and a cheese string. OH! And about a quarter of a rice cake and a handful of craisins. That was a lot, compared to the last couple of weeks.
- My house is a mess and I’ve lost the will to clean. Or pack. Or do anything that requires thinking, much.
- I’ve got work to finish, too. And I feel like I’m drowning in being overwhelmed.
And so, in all classiness and uncrassness, I copy follow Kelley and smite thee, oh mighty smiter.
PS. It took 11 tries to get that picture inserted. Fucking Wordpress.
