The maintenance guys in my building are pretty…different. They’re a married coupla guys who’ve been together for over a decade. One of them, the one you’d assume was unfriendly because of his hulking grizzly features, will have a half hour conversation at any point of the day. Really nice. His husband is seemingly more moody. I’ve never thought he liked me, he’s the main fixer guy around here and I think he’s frustrated by shit a lot. It shows easily.
So me and him will occasionally exchange hellos or some random unimportant comment, and I’ll get him to write me rent receipts and unclog my bathroom sink, but other than that, we rarely talk to each other. We’re just two passing ships.
Imagine my surprise the other day when I was battling Isobel to go up the stairs and he came into the building’s lobby. Isobel being the kiddo she is, she was all, “Hi HIIIII HIIIIIIII! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I’m speaking in tongues with you,” and he stopped.
And he started trying to chat with her and asked me how old she was, now.
“She’ll be two in July.”
“Yeah, I thought so. She’s way ahead of _____” (kiddo of neighbour mommy “friend,” who really just started talking even though he’s three and a half. The mommy I complain about sometimes being too harsh and handy with her kiddo. The one that started shit with me on my birthday. The compulsive liar.)
“Um, well *thinks that this might get back to her and will be representative of me being a shit disturber* he was better than Isobel at this age at motor skill stuff, like walking up the stairs, as you can see.” *pointedly glaring at Isobel*
“Maybe, but you really don’t have to make excuses. I think that’s what happens when you actually talk to your kids, instead of yelling at them. Isobel talks so much, it really says something.”
Yes, I am gloating. Cuz, well, it feels really nice when people say something about her that I can take pride in, and some thing that says they think I’m a good mama. And on a low-person level, it feels really good that a virtual stranger who doesn’t seem to like me much thinks I’m doing a better job than this “friend” of mine. Who spends so much of her time talking about what all of the other parents are doing wrong, it makes me wanna puke.
But really, I have learned a lot from her.
If you slap first and then putting your kiddo in 20 minute time out, they will be scared of you so that they flinch, sometimes. Which means they might not act out as much, but when they do, it invariably is quite violent.
Apparently, if a two year old refuses to share, you can give him time outs, take away his toys and spank him into learning about it – never mind the fact that he’s not developmentally ready to understand that toys will come back, eventually.
And my favourite? If a kiddo is resistant to potty training at 2 and a half? Put them in underwear and take them out for the entire day and the pure embarrassment and discomfort of walking around with shit and piss in their pants will learn ‘em. And if it doesn’t? Keep doing it. That was advice to another mommy “friend” about how to get her daughter to go on the potty when she refused to try.
Yeah, I may be quite the judgmental cow sometimes, but doesn’t this shit just seem wrong?
So I don’t feel that bad about gloating.
