And it’s Already Starting
Posted on April 29, 2008
Filed Under expansion, love letters, terrible twos |
Dear Isobel:
Yup, it happened. Life, baby #2, the flu, eating and sleeping all served to push the date far from my mind and I completely missed your 21st month’s birthday. I haven’t put a little line on the wall to show how much you’ve grown since March, I haven’t weighed you to see why my back aches so much and I haven’t once said happy birthday.
Hopefully the semi-daily cupcakes I’ve been bribing you with will have a cumulative effect, so that you don’t attribute this slip of memory to my not loving you. Cuz that is so far from the truth.
I’ve just been ignoring you, alot.
And that will end soon, I promise. Because pretty soon, I think you’re going to start ignoring me - in a more grandiose spectrum than the one involving not having your diaper changed. I see that you’re nearing the peak of the twos. (Um, a few months to a year early, but when have you ever done anything on time besides be born?) Not getting your way now means you plunk your booty on the floor and protest loudly and confidently.
And I walk away every time, leaving you to your anger so that it doesn’t awaken mine. I even smile a little at your assuredness of your right to the scissors, paints, daddy’s beer, keyboard, my makeup (though I suppose, one of us should be wearing it), my dirty underwear, and more inane things that just do not belong in your clutches.
In the last month, your want to communicate is just staggering. From “I gotta go outside” to “Mommy poops” and “My baby,” it all serves to make me proud since you’re doing what I’ve been asking you to do since you were born - just tell me what you want. Yes, I picked up on what different cries and strains and faces or body language meant, but life would’ve been so much more simple if you’da just said, “Mom, I’ve got some goddamn gas from the three cups of coffee you had today and then piped into me via your humongous boobs” at birth.
Seriously.
And a few of months ago, you could say all of the basic words: snack, juice, nigh night, poop, hug. And then some. So I found it drove me completely up the effing wall when you’d just explode into a pile of toddler screams and snot because there was something going on. But you wouldn’t tell me what. And on those really fun-filled days, it seemed like you were just being a jerk about it.
Like I was supposed to play some guessing game to find out what was wrong, or something. Oh wait, I was. It’s in my job description and the duty will likely last into your adulthood.
This is the point that I kick myself in the shins and think, “and I’m going to do this with a second one, too?”
But then, I think of all of the times I was sitting in a chair beside you, reading while you watched Dora or Blue or Elmo, and you crawled on my lap, took my cheeks in your hands and kissed me. Sometimes, it was even without tongue. And then you laid your head on my shoulder and wrapped your arms around my neck and patted my back, saying, “Otay, mama, Otay.”
And then I realize that I may have forgotten your 21-month birthday, in part cuz of baby #2, but baby #2 will be screwed over cuz you have broken my heart with love and pride so many times, there just might not be anything for her or him to break, themself.
I love you, monkey-princess,
Mama
PS - With all this new language and some lack of proper pronounciation, would you mind tuning down your version of ‘hippo’ when we’re walking around the ‘hood? Cuz I don’t want the neighbours to think I’ve been teaching you to call them homos.
Probably just as moody:
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10 Responses to “And it’s Already Starting”
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I kinda want to sit on her and squish her in the second picture … just because she’s too cute … and the fact that I got to hear her say “Mommy poops” today totally made me feel fantastic. (Better than yesterday’s poo even!)
Giraffe Parade’s last blog post..there goes my hero
How I love the evolution of toddler language
She is such a doll! So glad I’m not the only one bribing my kid with cake 
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Keep Away From Food & No One Gets Hurt
LOL at the P.S
Eve Grey’s last blog post..Chicken Shit
I had so much to say and then I read Giraffe’s comment and died laughing.
Awe . . . my little guy just said “da da” yesterday. Is this what is to come? She is ADORABLE!!!
LaskiGal’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Goodbye My Love . . .
she’s totally j-dawg in that cake pic!
rizlabeff’s last blog post..un-gah
Whoa! Lil Is is growing up before my very eyes! She’s become less baby and more little girl than the last time I saw her…awww…
Huckdoll’s last blog post..K-I-S-S-I-N-G
When Butterfly was born, I was so overwhelmed with the idea that we would have to go through the milestones all over again, and so soon after just reaching them with Bug. I’ll admit, I don’t always catch or pay attention to all of them with Butter like I did with Bug, there being two and all now, but last night they were lying in my bed and Bug was stroking Butterfly’s hair and she was cooing to him, and I knew that no matter how bad I might fuck it up sometimes, it was all going to be golden.
Happy 21 months to your little Stargirl!
conversemomma’s last blog post..We Live Inside The Choice We Made
Your comment about the second baby and having to go hrough the stages of infancy, early toddler again are frustrating because you cannot have them express what is the matter with them..
The pictures of your little girl are too cute.. Happy 21month mark!!
Kim’s last blog post..What Moms think about good Dads
What an incredibly beautiful little girl.
And don’t worry about baby #2 not having any part of your heart to break…your heart is much bigger than you realize.
LunaNik’s last blog post..Terrible Tuesday - Gluttony