What do you wear to a coffee date when you’ve scrambled to shower (during breakfast in the high chair, high chair holding the bathroom door open and water scalding you to make up for the breeze from the wide open door) and put on makeup beforehand so as to feel kinda, well, not ugly?
A red push up bra, obviously. Or you could wear it cuz your other two bras are in the laundry that’s been sitting in your hallway for two days, without stability of child sleep to allow it’s washing.
Then, when said child’s moodiness is driving your moodiness up three notches, what do you do? Give her a chocolate cupcake. It might not be healthy, it might be seen as rewarding a temper tantrum (something I’ve made a pact with myself never to do) or it could be seen as a sleep aide. The somnol for toddlers: sugar.
Let her bust out a half hour of buzzing around and then when naptime comes, there’s some bouncing in the crib and then a nice, gentle, silent crash (which is how I’ve already managed to do two loads of dishes and read some blog feeds).
Maybe I’ve been sleeping so heavily lately for the same reason – I’ve been inhaling dangerous quantities of chocolate during my evening binge-eating. One night was two boxes of slowpokes. Two. Like a trillion bazillion calories and gajillion grams of sugar. What’s it getting me?
A chocolate addiction that occasionally causes me to pet the items in the bakery section of the store.
* because it’s as wonderful as I know the real deal is. Or would be if my name was Vanessa and we lived in a loft in France. God, I want to lick him.
