today i found out that i do not have my ADD well-managed enough to take work with me to the park, and do it for any actual amount of time. even though two other people were there, wrangling zoë, i just couldn’t stay on the task. kept losing my way and staring at other people’s kids, wondering what i was doing again?
so i gave up and played and it made me feel a million times better (less frustrated and stressed), helping zoë go down the BIG tube slide on her tummy!
when we got home, she was not into napping in her crib, so we went for some walkies after a bit and she crashed in the stroller, which is quickly becoming more normal than her bed. and then i got some work done at starbucks while drinking a white mocha. i drank the whole thing before she woke up and so…
then i had both hands available for her MASSIVE, UNINFLUENCED, FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER public freak out. i had to race home, shielding my face from the judging looks of passers-by. heaven forbid a baby should cry, but this was wailing of a magnitude equivalent to pulling out each and every hair from her body with lobster pinsers.
once she had a bottle, it was fairly smooth sailing and then she was so patient as to allow me to make her dinner and wash dishes and then also put a load of laundry in the washer. i’ve never done all of that while she’s been awake and not watched by someone else. it made me feel like i can do this and sleep more than a few hours a night.
the moral to this story is that if one day, i can figure out how to go with the flow, instead of constantly trying to control the current – things will work themselves out. Probably.
