have included:
- a wedding of one of my best friends. my second ever to attend and zoë’s too. the bittersweet knowledge that i will likely never marry and live happily ever after.
- zoë’s first unassisted, solo steps (that’s right, one day after turning nine months!).
- zoë’s first word combo: hi, dada. this was after dr. daddy walked in to get her up in the morning.
- at least five fights between dr. daddy and i – one of which included talks of separation.
- the onset of zoë’s third cold.
- speculation as to whether she has allergies, like to dust or cat dander.
- trying minigos and discovering via diaper changes that minigos are not our friends.
- two occassions of drunkenness on my part.
- approximately 30 visits to starbucks.
- incoming knowledge of someone who is not my boyfriend wants to pretend to be for one night, even though he knows about my boyfriend and baby (yes, i do feel hot); the confirmation that i’m not interested and that my friend has offered to babysit if i am.
- the all-time high weight since losing pregnancy weight: 114 lbs.
- the subsequent diet.
- fancy nancy’s two-weeks vacation.
- hate for my hair and the resolution to wear it in a ponytail for another year until it’s long, again.
- a complete lack of motivation for most housework, paying work and showering.
- a lot of cigarettes.
- too much money spent when we don’t have any income at the moment.
- too much meat eaten for someone who was revegetarianizing.
- a trapped feeling.
- the one-year anniversary of losing my father to lung cancer (tomorrow, that is).
- the knowledge that i have so little emotions left to give, i only plan to eat cheesecake and get drunk, in his memory. not that he did that much.
stop the roller-coaster, i want to get off.
remember when i was this girl?
