i’ve been averaging three hours of sleep a night, cumulatively. she’s been wavering between impossible and the biggest joy in the world on an hourly basis. she’s so moody – must get it from her father (laugh out loud at the absurdity that i’m less moody). i’ve been considering moving up from decaf to half-caf. i did it one day and i felt like a rebel.
i managed to go out with my two favourite mommies from playtime on saturday night. even though dr. daddy was working the next day, he okayed it and then went next door to watch the hockey game with our neighbour, boyfriend of one of the aforementioned mommies. we just went a few blocks way. they had a couple drinks. i had one. my first real, enjoyable one since before i was pregnant. it was a double.
after a few sips, i felt it. but i’m a real psychosomatic drunk. if i think i’m sober, it usually registers that way and vice verse. i can be falling down after half a beer, if i’m thinking about being drunk. it’s odd. anyways. then we got back and i had 3/4s of another drink. that’s like 3 shots. the most i’ve drank since October of 2005. then i avoided breastfeeding for a few hours.
i woke up yesterday with beer mouth. you know beer mouth. a taste like cotton, the same grainy taste and add in an ashtray taste, too, cuz what smoker doesn’t smoke more when they’re drinking? i drank some water. and felt like i re-hydrated the alkie.
the high point was getting to say “zoë, we’re having breakfast boobies in bed cuz mommy might still be drunk.”
