i sing that to zoë whenever i am worried that she won’t go to sleep at bedtime. i think it’s more soothing for me than her, and really, it makes me feel like a good mommy. singing a song all about how special she is to me and that she’s the only one who’s special. i am so not intrinsic in my song choices.
i made a double layer devil’s food cake last night. it was both too rounded on top and too warm in our apartment once it was time to ice it, so the layers wouldn’t stay together and the top basically started simultaneously sliding off and splitting open, like as if an earthquake was right underneath it. so i ended up saying a million times i hate you cake and then just piling it whatever way it would stay on a cutting board, since we have no cake platter. we have an apartment full of glass, but only one thing that would be suitable for cake presenting and it is being used as a rolling surface.
zoë has started a new thing during this round of reusing the ferber method: she rolls onto her tummy and then falls asleep on it. this is bad because i am terrified that she will die of SIDs since she’s inexperienced at being on her tummy no matter what nevermind when she’s sleeping, so i have to check on her periodically, just so i won’t worry extra that she is already dead and i don’t know it. it’s good because after the first night of it we went to playtime and she hung out on her tummy for about 30% of the time and then started moving backwards, like a half foot. i was convinced that she wasn’t going to crawl at all since she hated being on her tummy, but NO i am wrong, like most times. she is who she is and will do whatev the fuck she wants to!
dr. daddy is watching tideland and i can’t even watch it since one of the first times i noticed what was going on, the little girl is cooking up for her father. that is too fucked up and then her mother i guess dies and her dad is fucked up and she has to say to him “don’t be sad. look, now we an eat all of her chocolate bars”. don’t get me started on how it makes we wonder what my life woulda been like if i’d grown up with my mom instead of dad. or how even though i’m disgusted with the behaviour and it’s been 12 years since i last used, i still get itchy sometimes when i am confronted with hollywoodized heroin.
i may be addicted to rootbeer and the chocolate double-layer-failure cake. tomorrow i’m going to try to make a bread pudding, since we have a lots of bread products and there’s no reason to make or anyone besides me that likes stuffing. anything else that uses up lots of bread products?
i am jealous of bad news blond(e)’s new house. but jealous in a “she earned it, i’m proud of all of her good work” kind of way.
tomorrow, we are going to move our furniture around again so that zoë has the bedroom all to herself. we will move our bed out to the living room and i have some hardcore plans to make lots of toss cushions to have all over it, in a lame attempt to make it look like a real sitting surface. our couch, aka futon from hell for asses, will be moving into the bedroom with her toys and some area rugs, so she will have lots of space to play, pull up onto furniture and i won’t worry about her cracking her head open on the hardwood floors.
dr. daddy and i have come to a consensus about how things will work and be done around here and so for a lot of the last week, he’s been feeding her dinner, then taking her for a bedtime bath and story. this means i can wash dishes, smoke and make dinner and not worry about her starving, being kept awake late or being bored. then this morning he took her for a walk, for some special just-with-daddy time, which meant i got to clean the bathroom and install more memory on our computer and then our printer that we bought weeeeeeks ago and print a test photo – which kicked ass. i now have supersuper photo album filling plans.
tomorrow, we’re going to buy zoë some more shirts. it’s easier, i’ve discovered, to just buy her 12 month sizes, since everything else is too short lengthwise, but girth, even the 3-6 month sizes are a little wide. my skinny tall girl.
i am also going to buy a new nursing bra tomorrow or next week. since i’m breastfeeding more often than i was, what little shrinkage seemed to be happening has reversed and now i miss wire too much to stay in a non-wire one. i was feeling a little roomy in my generous 34D, so maybe even back to my prepregnancy size, but now am back to bursting from the nursing bra, my boobs may explode size. which is really only like a 34Dd. woohoo. i refuse to buy a DD sized bra and i can fit into a roomy single D, so i call it a Dd. like D and a half, get it?
also i wanted to maybe pick up the new NIN album. but was misinformed that it was out already when it’s really out April 17th.
this post has been brought to you by raymi’s blog.
