this is going to be more of a rant than a entertaining post i think. i am as frustrated as a woman who just boinked for 6 hours and didn’t get off once and now is left with an insane hatred of her swollen labia and can’t cross her legs. and forgive me but it will also be filled with more information than you, the reader, need to know about me, the ranter.
because i’ve been feeling weird for the past 2 days, and because there’s been increasing pregnancy activity of a maybe-this-is-the-real-deal sort, and because the doctor really didn’t feel like going to work today (but we won’t get into that, because this is all about me) and had at least 2 more days of vacation left, i was not home alone with my cat today.
we were semi productive and did some cleaning up and some laundry and then we decided to go and get some subway and visit the deli for some kick ass porkchops because we like to plan ahead for dinner like that in rilahland.
and the whole walk to subway and during my awesome sub inhalation and to the deli, i was having contractions about every 3 minutes apart. maybe 4. but because of the last month+’s fakisms, i was ignoring them, which is to say that i was announcing them and commentating on their type – non-painful but sudden and longer than usual – but not timing them.
when we got home from our jaunt, after also getting a video game for the doctor to occupy his time with and my second starbucks visit of the day, we were broker and i decided to time the little buggers. the two have nothing to do with each other.
add to that the fact that i’ve been losing some sort of cloudy fluid every fifth time i visit the bathroom for the past two days and that the bathroom visits, today, have increased to every 10 minutes and are more than the trickle they were, almost as if i did not have a baby both making and stopping me from peeing, we thought, hey, maybe this is it. that’s when my cat got the psycho attitude towards me that i love hate out of the blue. from a nap to attack mommy in 2 seconds flat.
so i enlisted the advice of a mommy-friend who thought that maybe said cloudy fluid was a slow leak of my membranes (that word is so medical), and that i should continue timing them – they had moved to every 4-5 minutes apart but still, no pain – and consider taking a shower to either power them up or drain their batteries.
so i showered. where they continued and i found out that my left tit was leaking. a lot. then we were considering going to the hospital to see what was up. the doctor packed everything up that we could need if they didn’t send us home, laughing at my lack of knowledge.
and after about a half hour, they started to deflate in timing, regularily and strength. and then the baby started kicking, again, which hadn’t been happening all day. so basically, i’m left with “you ass, i hate you, get out of my body or at least stop mind fucking me.”
this brings us to about 3:30.
the rest of the afternoon was spent taking to my equator and pouting and glaring and the doctor giving me sympathetic looks and a back massage. the doctor also beat his video game. and made the pork chops. which were fantastic, but i have no appetite. that’s part of the wierd-feeling: i, person who eats on an almost hourly basis as of late, must force feed an apple every 3 or 4 hours for the past 2 days. i also got all fluey feeling 2 days ago.
so now, we’re back to regular and non-painful contractions and i haven’t started retiming them again, because i refuse am waiting for the baby to finish his little you-just-fed-me dance. but it does feel like my cervix is being ripped apart by a never-ending-opening speculum.
so we’ll see if that means anything.
