i woke up this morning like normal and then i took a nap. (like normal)
BUT: i actually managed to wake up prior to the doctor calling from work and got some more reading done.
i know that pregnancy has had a positive effect on my eating disorder when i can go to the beach in my ninth month.
then i got home, after inhaling a bavarian smokey and discovered that even though i was wearing some sunblock, which i never do (i’m allergic to everykind i’ve ever tried except for one type – of which i can only wear the SPF 30, it’s extremely greasy and about $30 for a toothpaste-sized tube. THANK YOU, SENSITIVE SKIN: i will be guaranteed either skin cancer or further bankrupting for proper skin cancer prevention) i got burned everywhere that showed:
i now have the ability to cook dinner on my thighs.
* for the record: i didn’t wear a tank top the whole time because i’m some wussy type girl who is all “i’m pregnant, and i have to hide it because it’s grotesque”; i wore bikini bottoms and a tank top because:
- i don’t want to burn that beautiful baby belly (skin that’s stretched that much has to be even more burnable, right?)
- my bikini tops from last summer don’t fit anymore, but the bottoms do, and if you think i’m going out to buy a whole new bikini, just so i can bare my cleavage and burn what used to be called a belly button, you, my dear, are mentaller than me.
- it made me look tougher – check out how my pipes are soooo huge, i can’t put them at my sides (i love delusions).
