i went mega shopping yesterday – not that i bought out pacific centre, but i walked a lot and spent a lot and now am the proud owner of:
- 3 new pairs of scarlett-johansen-inspired panties;
- an ultra-stretchy, apparently full-coverage bra that fits, for now, and which actually resembles a balconette;
- 2 new tank tops, for working the “i look like a pregnant rachel from friends” look;
- a black pair of shishy, baggy gauchos – they were $20, they don’t have a pregnancy tummy panel, they’re stretchy and they’re a size small in non-mommy-wear – making me a slave to fashion (who already had brown ones);
- a book called “sippy cups are not for chardonnay,” which has been read since getting home last night;
- a bodysuit for the baby, from, yes, BABYGAP, which has little puppies on it and says “i love daddy” (it was on sale, dammit and that place will SUCK YOU IN, like the vortex of hell that it is); and
- a crib and mattress, to be delivered in two weeks.
all in all, i prolly dropped just under $500, being that the crib, mattress and delivery were over $250. but this was not only retail therapy, it was “you need to stop wearing the doctor’s clothes and have a place for your soon-to-be-baby to sleep”.
the ultra fun part, besides waddling down robson and from robson into pacific centre, was that the baby has dropped a little, not like it will in a coupla months, but enough to be wedged in an uncomfortable, cramp inspiring place. so 4+ hours of walking and carrying shopping bags made me feel geriatric.
highlights included having a girl at the lingerie store give me the advice that i shouldn’t go up to a 36D from a cups-runneth-over 36C, because my frame is too small, and that when/if (yeah right, if) i need to go up another size (third times a charm, right?), i should just go to a 34DD. ME A DD. fuck, that’s SO wrong. oh and having the chick at subway completely ignore me when i said no salt on my sandwich, and then asking her really sweetly to take off all of the toppings that had salt on them, and basically make it again.
sorry, i said NO SALT and i was hungry and hormonal. and old.
