say hello to the rug's topography
April 12th, 2006 | Uncategorized
- to this moment, 10:24 PST, i have received 0 votes to be voted off of the SBC’s survivor island.
- if 11 people all voted right now, for me to go, i might be out.
- only if no one else voted for the vote-leader.
- out like the bruins from the stanley cup playoffs.
- vancouver and TO may still have a chance to be in the running. sigh.
- i’ve lost most interest in the game, in the past few months. the past season off really drew my attention to other worldly matters.
- like celebrity gossip magazines.
- in fact, i’ve only, in my whole life, bought 2.
- both within the past few months, and specifically only relating to celebrities who are pregnant, right now.
- i had a dream last night that i went out with the doctor to a restaurant and ended up having 2 malibu and OJs. even though i was pregnant.
- i felt guilty and was DRUNK and woke up feeling slightly hungover.
- i don’t get hangovers – and especially not from dream-drinking.
- on the agenda: letters to be written, dishes to be washed, groceries to be bought, books to be read.
- watching of ANTM.
- i checked out the contestants in this cycle with the doctor last night.
- we ended up singing UGLY you ain’t got no alibi…i don’t know if i care to watch, now.
- mean, maybe, but what do these girls think they’re going to hear during 14-18 hour days of go-sees and shoots? you’re gorgeous?
- no, it’s more like: look at those thighs, look at the cellulite. this girl needs some coke. this girl does too much coke. the photog wants to see her after the shoot for a special training session, etc. and then she’ll be told to lose 10 lbs.
- i quit skateboarding when i was 14, to continue modelling.
- i quit modelling about 3 weeks later. when they told 95lbs me to lose some weight, cuz it was showing too much in my face.
- i also had to quit bad, fun drugs at the same time. leaving me with flu-like symptoms.
- modelling taught me something: being smart is not an asset to a lot of people, especially other women. it’s just further fodder for gossip and cattiness.
- i started acting like a dumb blonde shortly after that.
- i became unthreatening and ’sweet’, apparently.
- oddly, boys and men became attracted to me, when in dumb blonde mode.
- not so oddly, they were mostly attracted to one area of me. which did not get given up until 2 years later.
- i think that next year, i will have to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of losing it. have a pink, cherry-ballooned party or something.
- the newest joke threat is that i will, after weaning, have a constant fear-inspiring threat towards the doctor.
- “what? you don’t wanna do dishes? okay, no birth control for me.”
- he says he’ll ask me if i feel like threatening it in about 3 months and that we’d use condoms, then.
- i said, how do you think we got pregnant this time? by using the condoms that were too far away/too much effort…
- he said nothing, but i read his mind and it said, ‘touche’.
- so, knowing the unpredicability of my life, this time, next year, i will be writing about morning sickness and shopping for double-strollers and another crib.
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