what have i become my sweetest friend
April 10th, 2006 | Uncategorized
- lots of people have pet peeves. i have a lot of compulsions.
- lots of people get mad about a lot of different things. i get mad when i’m hurt.
- i get hurt by a lot of different things, but the king of all hurt push-buttons is not being able to fix things for people, so that they won’t hurt.
- or not helping them to stop hurting themselves.
- i’m a people pleaser, sure. but mostly, i’m looking for the peace that comes from no one needing anything from me and the only way that might occur is if everything is fixed.
- it hasn’t happened, yet. peace, i mean.
- and they say that you can’t fix someone that doesn’t wanna be fixed.
- and they say that you can’t fix someone until you fix yourself.
- and they say a lot of things, but who the hell are they?
- i’d like to ask them a lot of questions.
- because they seem to know a lot, but they’re never really around, are they?
- i watched the constant gardener. i know now that the likelihood of me going to africa is small to nonexistant.
- my heart would break before i even deplaned.
- i can’t even go past main and hastings without getting teary.
- ignorance could be bliss.
- sometimes i wish for it.
- a lot of the time.
- i may occassionally put on a completely selfish mask. it’s a defense mechanism.
- i’m as self involved as the next person, i think. but i see too much and a.d.d. and mania allow me to think too much, at one time.
