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25 things i've learned during pregnancy

March 23rd, 2006 | Uncategorized

  1. the foods that i haven’t let myself eat in years (doughnuts, 2% or higher milk, chocolate, MEAT) are really really yummy;
  2. my boobs will get bigger. and bigger. and fuck, bigger.
  3. the kicking is cute. other times, it hurts like a bitch and keeps me awake.
  4. sciatica is NOT fun. as funny as the doctor may think me clutching my ass and occasionally sliding down stairs may be. and when i don’t have it, i will agree.
  5. cravings aren’t just “mm pickles”, they’re sometimes “if i don’t have pickles, i will never eat again, cuz nothing in the world is as good as pickles.”
  6. maternity wear is not cool. it never will be, and i cannot live the lie that it is.
  7. i will always be too small, bigger, “having twins?”, carrying low or wide, compared to someone else. comparing is pointless.
  8. it’s easier to find maternity clothes on the doctor’s baggy side of the closet than to buy them. ever hear of a size 0, 5 months along chick?
  9. people who don’t see me often will say “wow, you really are pregnant” when they do. like, no, it was all a well-concocted ruse!
  10. blueberries are not my friends, anymore.
  11. neither are milkshakes, whether they bring all the boys in the yard, or not.
  12. it’s really confusing when people ask how far along i am, cuz if i say 23 weeks, they look at me blankly and if i say almost 6 months, they think that the baby is due in june.
  13. sometimes, i may pee myself and i have to accept this.
  14. sometimes, i will pee, only to have to go again after 10 minutes. but i refuse! it’s just the principal.
  15. if something doesn’t hurt, at some point during the day (like my ass or back or hip and knee joints), i see it as a possibility that something is wrong and start to panick, till something DOES hurt. then i feel better.
  16. i’m ahead of schedule for growth and development and i think this means that i am growing a superbaby inside of me.
  17. i also think that it might want out early, cuz of boredom, at some point.
  18. it is invaluable having a friendship with the doctor’s mom. not only is she the most supportive person i’ve ever know, but she makes everything, including me, feel okay.
  19. the doctor’s mom is going to be a great grandma, even though she didn’t wanna be one for the first, oh, 10 days after find out that she would be. since then, excitement is TOO small a word.
  20. the nipple is actually only the centre and most of the good part that we call nipple is in fact areola.
  21. a lot of people have offered to help, when the baby comes. i don’t think they realize that i’ll prolly only want them to do dishes for me. and maybe clean my bathtub and clean the litterbox.
  22. good night moon is a really quick read, but something tells me that in 2 years, it will seem to take forever.
  23. if i talk about boobs, kicking is guaranteed. it’s a breast-enthusiast.
  24. i will forget things. from 2 minutes ago. and lose the thing that is right in front of me, that i’ve forgotten why i wanted, anyways.
  25. depression affects me BIGger-time, cuz i’m not just affecting myself if i don’t wanna eat or only wanna sleep and not shower.
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  • aughra

    Good night moon really goes quickly. It has a good rhythm, it just rolls off the tongue.I am fourteen weeks with my second. When I was twenty three I had my first, and wasn't very healthy then. Kind of a poor eater. This time around I am trying to be better, but RANCH DRESSING IS DELICIOUS!It's so hard.Thanks for coming by my blog - I'm bookmarking you, too.

  • Binsk

    Sounds fun.

  • rilah

    nope... but, that's why people will ask when you guys will have a baby - cuz they want you to shower.

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