i received an email today about my blog.
so i have to say, right off, like has been stated in the past, that this is obviously more a vessel for my personal expression than for relationship building. this is more a ventilation method, than one of conflict resolution. sometimes stuff needs to get out, in an elaborate or otherwise overly narrative way. that’s who i am.
i thought to this point that only people who understood me, were interested in my general well being and where i was coming from read these words, but this email has corrected me.
and also, as stated a number of times, nothing in this blog, this PERSONAL journal, is completely without dispute or completely verifiable. and hey, sometimes a writer has to add stuff in to make it all flow a little more.
i’ve been charged with rampant hypocrisy, indulging in pity-party passive-aggressive crap, and being delusional. really?
i feel sorry for myself, yes. i also accept more blame than is often necessary and am normally the first person in ANY situation to apologize.
am i a hypocrite? maybe. it’s not as if i ever have claimed to know everything and to be right about all that i say.
one thing i do know about myself is that i have the ability and wish to put myself into others’ shoes and to accept when i am wrong. i’ve been accepting it for months, not even being told what i was wrong about.
my personal journal maybe be a pity-party and it may be passive-agressive crap, but it’s not getting pushed onto others. i’m keeping it in one locale. and i feel better knowing that.
i don’t name names. i don’t include pictures. i don’t even include my personal information, for concern of bringing my issues upon others that are associated with me.
i refuse to change who i am, within my personal life, to accompany an alpha-personality type who has the ability to email what will not just be said to me.
and delusional. yup. its called being BIPOLAR. who ever said that i was stable? certainly not me.
way to kick the little guy when she’s down.
