there are people with confidence. and there are those that fake it, when the time is right. and there are those that shit on others, to inflate themselves.
i fall into the 2nd category. i don’t have alot, but i try to never knock others down, to make myself feel better. I try to be aware of any strangers that i may not have smiled at one the street, and then do smile. and when i do have happiness and confidence, i let it shine and tag:passitonto others – cuz it’s the people suurounding me that make me happy about being me and being alive, mostly.
but i do FIRMLY believe in the golden rule, and after someone giving out a certain degree of shittiness to others, i’m fine with teaching the lesson of how it feels toget it back, usually ending up in fear of a physical altercation [i can talk it, better than i can walk it].
and there’s some special little princesses who spend entire conversations looking at my stomach.
{the background}
i’m 2 months pregnant, was 30 lbs underweight (according to doctors, so let’s say i was really like, 15, under) and have been eating like a machine when morning sickness has allowed it cuz the dcotors have given me a goal of 55lbs gain in 7-8 months [yeah, right]. I figure i’m going to be one of those lucky ass bitches who only gains the weight in her tummy, cuz in a month of $20 per day food items, i’ve now gained 3 lbs. that’s less than the weight in food that i’m eating, daily.
but i’ve also gained 2″ on my waist in the form of what the press always refers to as a bump. and gone up a bra size – like i needed that. point being: the jeans that were baggy and falling down, now almost fit – but only in the waist, and all of my shirts don’t cover my stomach, cuz they’re yanked up by the twins. sorry, i’ll shop when i know what SIZE to buy. and yes. i am/was anorexic, so i totally beat you to that guess.
{more background}
this chick and i have thinly veiled animosity, because suddenly, i’m apparently her bitch. and the word please never occurs to her. and she’s more judgemental than joan rivers and simon wassisfacefromamericanidol put together. like, anyone who would ever consider doing playboy, is a loser and should expect and deserve to only be treated as a whore for the rest of their lives.
that’s right, one of my favorite celebs and canadians, Pam Anderson is and will only ever be a WHORE. bullpoopie, i say.
so you know, she’s perfect and a good person, right?
{todays headline: hormones triumph; life endangered}
“you know, my face is way higher than that”
“well, sorry [don't ever say sorry to me, fi you don't mean it cuz i will never trust a word you say again - insincerity kills me], but i find your stomach protruding over your pants [did i mention that i was wearing 25" jeans?] offensive”
“well, you better not ever bend over again, cuz the stretchmarks that are a MAP on your back are offensive to me” [gulp on my part, shocked look on hers]
FOLLOWED BY:
“you have 3 choices: you can talk to me like a human being, you can not talk to me at all, or you can have the same shit handed back to you as you’ve bestowed upon me”{followed by a completely flawless exit; though i was internally shaking with fear and anger, and normally probably would have walked into a wall or something, anyways, even if no confrontation had taken place}
take that bitchnuts.
